According to research by psychologist Ron Friedman, workplace friendships are one of the best predictors of workplace productivity.
It’s in the interest of both employers and employees to create a setting conducive for socializing at work. The problem is that it’s not enough to discuss work and assignments to develop a friendship, and it’s even more difficult to make friends in a new job environment.
A genuine effort needs to be made for people to connect on a deeper level. Here are some tips to make friends at work as soon as you start.
Make the First Move with Ice-breaking Conversation
Making friendships at work is a lot like making friends anywhere else in life. Someone needs to be the one to say hello first.
It’s best to be proactive about this, even more so if you’re joining an established team. An ice-breaking conversation can be simple, some ideas include:
- Self-introduction: your name, title, which team you’re joining, what your role entails.
- Your background: which industry you worked in before, whether you have been in a similar role.
- Your feelings: how you feel about starting a new job, what excites you, what surprised you from your orientation.
- Questions for your colleagues:
- Their role and position.
- What got them into their career.
- What their day-to-day looks like, which department they collaborate with.
- What interesting or challenging projects that they’re handling.
- Common practices in the company, such as favorite lunch spots or if there is any self-organized gathering within the company like an after-work gathering. This is also a great way to show you’re interested in knowing more people and you may get invited to those events!
With ice-breaking topics above, your first few interactions should be warm and positive. If you have more work-related questions, your first few days are also a great time to make the first move. Colleagues will usually be happy to help someone new and it gives you an opening to make conversation.
Be Mindful of Culture When Socializing at Work
Being polite is equally important as being friendly. Especially in a work environment, professionalism requires you to respect boundaries in conversation topics. There are some things that your colleagues won’t be comfortable sharing. This may differ depending on the culture that they associate closely with. Being mindful of culturally inappropriate topics can save you from awkward exchanges and prevent your colleagues from being put off.
Topics that are typically considered sensitive:
- Age
- Marriage status
- Salary
- Personal appearance
- Political stance
- Religion
- Race
Get to Know Your Colleague Beyond Their Work
At some point, conversations need to become a little broader if you want to build a stronger friendship. Some situation also calls for this, such as after-work gathering or team building activities. Starting to pepper in some “getting to know you” questions will help this process, such as:
- What do you like to do to de-stress?
- What energizes you outside of work?
- What’s your favorite trip so far?
- What do you like to read about?
- What’s the last book you read?
- Have you seen any good movies that you’d recommend?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
- What’s your pick-me-up song?
- Do you have a secret talent that no one knows? What is it?
- Where do you come from? What’s different here from your hometown?
- How do you start your morning?
If you feel like your conversations are remaining a little one-sided, don’t push it. No one wants to be forced to talk about personal topics. You may have to be more patient or accept that some of your colleagues aren’t interested in becoming close friends.
Help Others and Ask For Help
Nothing brings people together like a shared goal and a work environment is overflowing with opportunities to work on shared goals.
When you collaborate on assignments and projects with colleagues, it’s a great opportunity to create shared experiences. Check whether your colleague needs help to finish their tasks and offer your expertise in areas that they are not comfortable with. Conversely, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Bounce ideas off each other before making a decision that considers both sides’ opinions.
Take every opportunity to engage in collaborative activities. It’s a shortcut to forming a bond with the people around you.
Take a Genuine Interest in Your Colleagues
You’ll make a lot more friends by being genuinely interested in what people have to say than merely trying hard to get them interested in you. This takes active listening and responding appropriately. That’s true in any context, work or otherwise.
To build relationships at work is not that different from making friends in general. It takes shared experience and patience for a real bond to form. Friendships can’t be rushed and shouldn’t be forced. You don’t have to be friends with everyone at work, but you should try to be friends with at least some of your colleagues. Going to work with a group of people you can call friends could boost your mood at work, improve your performance, and theirs.